A Tribute to a Master Baker

Mildly NSFW

There follows a seasonal tale of cake and karma told in the style of the traditional murder-themed nursery rhyme “Who Killed Cock Robin” (the video below is for anyone who wants to check out the tune).



Have you seen this cake?

It was quite a surprise,

Right in front of my eyes

To see such a cake.


Is that a pair of robins?

Santa hats on their heads,

To match their red breasts.

Yes that’s a pair of robins.


On what are they perched?

Is that a yule log?

No wait, it’s a knob

On which they are perched.


What was my reaction?

Uncontrollable laughing,

You could even call it cackling.

That was my reaction.


May I take a pic?

So I can spread the joy

To all the girls and boys.

I’d like to take a pic.


I made it for you,

Angela replied.

You can do what you like,

I made it for you.


But why a penis cake?

I was honestly confused!

She said some jokes I made were crude,

That’s why a penis cake.


Who’ll Eat Cock Robin?

I will, if you please,

On Christmas cake with cheese,

I’ll eat Cock Robin.


All the boys in the room

Crossed their legs and started sobbing,

As the knife sliced through

Jolly Cock Robin.


If you got this far without clutching your pearls then I think you can handle some pictures of the glorious cake which inspired me to drag an innocent childhood rhyme down into the gutter. The master baker responsible is my friend Angela, to whom I am immensely grateful for giving me both a good laugh and some excellent cake.